Recently, I feel myself being challenged. From every corner, punches are thrown. It's not the first time I'm being challenged, not the first time I'm uncomfortable. But this is the first time I'm actually taking the punch. I've spent so much of my life dodging these punches, staying alive and happy without having to deal with the issues. I've grown used to accepting "fate", whatever that is, and going with the flow, letting my sampan sail wherever the wind takes me. But this is the first time that I'm wrestling with the currents. This is the first time I know which direction I want to go. This is the first time I have to actually use my muscles to paddle against nature. Whether it's patiently waiting and going through a hierarchy of approvals, stamps, emails, or wrestling the with the moral compass in my head, I have to paddle through it. And alone, too, with God on my side. No, it should be me on His side. Whatever the path of righteousness is, that's where I should be paddling towards. When it's about academic issues, it's perfectly fine. It is black and white. I follow these procedures to get what I want. But when it comes to human issues, the lines are so blur and feelings trump reason. It would be so easy to let go of the paddles and let the boat go, but I know it is heading towards a waterfall and there is no other ending than my boat crashing into pieces. It's still early. I still see the rocks in a distance. I can move away. Yes. I will move away.
In other news, friends who care about my uni life, I'm trying to appeal for Literature and drop Geography. I pray all goes well, and I will be much happier if all goes well. But aim for the best and prepare for the worst, yes? So I'm still reading up on atmospheric oafhoueauwefgreekofuhaoduf. I miss my lattes and my river talks. Are you sick of my sampans and oceans and rivers and whales yet? I'm not. I love whales. Good night.