It's been a weekend of comfortable silence, sitting, and coffee. Hanging out at the same places, looking at the same faces, the weekend has really been comfortable. I love that. I love this feeling we have built over time. This family we have built over time. Right now, after three good days of routine and familiarity, I feel as if I'm snuggling in a giant blanket. Safe. Content.
Sunday.
I reach church unusually early because the father has to send my cousin and nieces to church. So great to find Ludfil and Akif ridiculously early too. We spend the morning before service chasing April's three kids. Well, we don't actually chase, because we are jaded youths. We sit by the aisles and catch them, like a game of London Bridge. They don't know this, but we're not even trying, not even moving our butts, and they're sweating it out trying not to be caught. It's too early to say much, but we laugh and we smile because these kids are worming all over the place, making snow angels out of dust and messing up their Sunday clothes. It's nice how quiet and empty the sanctuary is at this hour. The AV crew doing their thang, worship team practising, children running all over the place, youths tired and sleepy. Then it's 10.00, our cue to sit outside and expect the Bishan Express. It's the same every week. At 10.00 we find Janet, Waichan, Yvonne, and sometimes Rachel sitting outside. CYZ, Naomi, and Shannon join us after their practice, and everyone sits around the table, engaging in private conversations or just staring into nothing. Seeing everyone at the table I can't help but think, I really really don't want to leave this. Every time I talk about leaving, 3/4 of my mind tells me I will probably end up in Singapore anyway, no point getting all emotional and drama over this. But 1/4 of my mind tells me to stop whining and just go. 10.30, we enter the sanctuary. Pastor Neville shares the word. He's like the grandpa who always plays with the kids and is so very wise. Seeing him every week makes going to church all the more feel like a family reunion. He talks about his wife, how much she has helped and blessed him, how much she is a gift from God. We, the youths at the back, go "awwwww" every other minute while the adults think about their own marriages. Kimby and I play this game where every time he says the word "wife" we make a heart shape with our hands. Our arms were almost sore by 12.30. 12.30 we head outside to defrost and then upstairs for bible study. As usual, we stuff our faces with the good food prepared lovingly by Aunty Betty. A long time ago she saw how we snacked on chips and stuff after service and she decided to make us good food every week since. We stuff our faces, who ever is leading bible study that week eats even quicker, that's me today, so we can begin class. We pray, we study the word, we have many gaps filled with silence, then occasionally someone breaks the silence with a question that leaves everyone even quieter. 1.30, we have camp meeting. 2.00, worship prac. We last all through till 5.00 and it's only then that we realise how tired we are. The evening sun fills the church and the evening heat gets under our skin. The only west-siders, Ludfil and I, decide we're too lazy to head home so we walk to the Oh's to rest. This beautiful family, Aunty NG and Uncle Jeff, open their doors to us again, feeding us with amazing warm toast and fresh kaya, and Lina serves us the best coffee. For the longest time after our tea break, the boys pass out on the couch, I sit outside with Aunty NG and Uncle Jeff, in silence except for a few, "how's everybody doing?". So restless, the only time I move is to pat Decky the giant dog. Back to the couch. Back to the nap. Then it's dinner time and we sit together, have dinner together, say grace together. This whole togetherness and family thing still makes me uncomfortable sometimes, but I like it. This is my model family. I tell them I spend more time in Bishan (Waichan and Janet's) and their place than my own home. I want to tell them I wish to stay there forever. We hang around and watch TV until it's 9.00 and I remember it's Monday tomorrow. The west-siders take their 1-hour ride home. I reach home and it's quiet. But it's not the same.
Saturday.
12.00 at Bishan MRT, waiting for the rest to appear. The faces to expect: OJK, OJX, Waichan, Janet. OJK has something else on, so the rest of us carry on. We decide to skip S11 and pack food back. We find Luke outside their door because he isn't used to this routine, yet. Lunch, bum around, wait for the rest to walk in. Yvonne walks in surprising everyone because she's missing from the whatsapp group. Surprise, though, she doesn't carry a baguette today. Duggie is disappointed. We have bible study. We stray away from the content for a bit, asking questions with answers but no conclusion. We end bible study with hearts a bit more settled, with a bit more questions too. The JC kids leave to study. Janet leaves with Duggie to do serve the community. This whole family serves, and that includes their beloved Duggie. That strange ball of fur. 3.00, the apartment is quiet. We each take a side in the living room and we do nothing. We say nothing. We just, nua~ I play some lullaby on the guitar, Waichan is fast asleep, OJX is being weird. All is still and warm. 4.00 Duggie comes back barking and jumping all over the place. We wake up. OJX and I head to the MRT where he tells me: I left my potato at Waichan's house. I meet Nurul and Tilini for dinner at my top most hated mall, Bugis. Nurul, cranky as ever, is quiet. But she still loves me this I know because she baked me brownies <: The night creatures leave for a flea and I head to Kino hoping to find the books I wanted to get. Nope, none. Another reason to not like Bugis. I think about OJX's potato and I laugh inside.
Friday.
I throw pillows and blankets at Jolene and Jeska who are still fast asleep at 9.00. We watch FRIENDS for a bit, saying their lines before they do. We should never watch FRIENDS with other people. They will throw rocks at us. Jeska and I take a bus to town, catching up since NUS robbed her of her time. We try to avoid the crowd in town but we fail miserably. Lunch at Ion and we see so many parents out with their kids. Nice to see families hanging out in town. We go to one of the malls I hate the most to get shoes from the shop I love the most. Rockstar doesn't play KOC anymore, since Mumford & Sons got a new album. I finally get my sneakers and I toss out my old one immediately. Always wear old sneakers you want to throw out when you go shopping for a new one. No shopping bag brought home, no evidence. It's 3.00 and Ice is finally awake. We meet her at Raffles City and share a donut. She returns me the film she helped me develop in BKK and we are some goons staring at our film under the light. We walk around cityhall-bugis-dhobygaut and stumble upon an exhibition. It's quiet, spacious, empty. The two people in charge of the place are extremely unfriendly. We head to Geisha Cafe. The owners are extremely friendly. The cafe is tiny and quiet, even the owners/servers speak in whispers. This is short-lived. Jeska's major clumsy hands smack a glass of cold water on the tiny glass table. "May I mop this up?" the owner whispers. It sounds extremely creepy but it fits into the whole vibe of the place. It's a creepy cafe. But they have cheap and delicious coffee. I brave the crowd at take a train to church for prayer meeting. Of course I make a stop at the Oh's before church. I bump into Ludfil at the train station and we walk to No. 30 together. We hear someone calling us from behind and it's Uncle Jeff riding my bike. Before I can even put down my bag he convinces me to practise riding my bike. I can finally get on and move, but I panic. I can't turn. My legs are scratched. Uncle Jeff and Ludfil are in the front and at the back, and I am this clumsy penguin wobbling in the middle. I try Aunty NG's bike and it's a whole lot easier. I might just give them my bike and surrender. 7.15 I give up and my face is red as a tomato. I finally enter the house and see the Oh bros. We have dinner and Uncle Jeff sends us to church for prayer meeting. After prayer meeting Ludfil and I take Waichan's car to Bishan and then our long journey home again.
I thank God for COGY.
I love this family.
