On Monday it was just Loke and I at the office. We had such a long and tedious conversation on relationships, God, and as always, Uni plans. These were my words to her.
"When I was younger I always believed it didn't matter where I went, because there would definitely be something there for me to do, and God would definitely be with me there. Didn't matter if I took Plan A or Plan B because in both plans there would be something for me to do. But as I grew up I forgot about that. Fear stepped in. I forgot about all of this, forgot about possibilities and faith. I thought there would always be a straight path, and nothing else. But I was reminded about them again last week. Remember I told you that I didn't believe in a straight path anymore? The end goal might still be the same, but there are many different routes to take. Alternatives. There's no more straight line, but many different veins interconnecting and leading to one end goal or a possibility of a few. We won't know which one is the right one, but is there even a right route? Sometimes we just have to jump and make the best of it. There will never be a perfect route. We just have to have faith and choose and make the best of it. Remember me when you go to Australia ok? (She was still struggling between her MDIS and Australian Unis) 2 years fly by very quickly! It's only 2 years of our entire lives. Don't worry."
Then we went for dinner with Edwin and I got a WA from my sister telling me she got 3 scholarships! God is beautiful and faithful and blesses in abundance. Not 1, but 3 scholarships! She wasn't even going to get them because they were giving scholarships out to new candidates and she was not a new candidate. Her in-charge fought for her, God fought for her, and she was blessed with 3. I didn't think much about it, praise God, my sister has been blessed. Then I got a phone call from the father telling me that because my sister got her scholarships, they'll be sending me to UWA because they wouldn't have to pay for her tuition fees and living expenses. I was shocked. I mean, this subject has been in discussion for a long time already, but I never expected closure. I always told myself I wouldn't have to go overseas because we wouldn't be able to afford it. Now that I don't have that excuse to hide behind, I realise it's pure fear and insecurity driving me away from overseas studies. I was overcome with fear, "is this where God wanted me?", "what if I fail there?", "what if I make no friends there?". Then I remembered all I told Loke just 6 hours ago. It wasn't God talking to Loke through me. It was God talking to me. Just jump, have faith, because God will be with me. I almost turned a huge blessing into a selfish burden. Praise God, thank God, pray that I will have the faith to go through this seemingly huge step.
There will never be a perfect route.
Sometimes we just have to jump and make the best of it.
Doesn't matter where we go because there will be something for us there,
and God will definitely be with us there.
God is already with us here.
It's just 2 years of my entire life.