Spent my one free day before work begins by cleaning up COGY Camp stuff and spending the day with golden boy before he shaves his head of precious golden hair and turns in his atas lifestyle for a military one. God is good. The past 12 days have reminded me how ugly we are, how ugly I am. We snap so easily, we let pride get in the way, we let bitterness build in us like bricks. Our hearts get weighed down and tired, and soon enough we build a wall of bricks, destroying relationships, turning cold, comfortable in our anger and unforgiveness. And yet, in our ugliness, in our unforgiveness, in our self-righteous I'm-right-you're-wrong, God gives. He blesses, so His will be done. He loves, because of His very nature. He gives mercy and grace. Remember, if God were fair, we'd all be condemned to death by now. I'd have been condemned long before I turned 10. In our ugliness, God loves us. In our ugliness, God is all ready to forgive us if only we repent. God is good. His holiness reflects our unholiness, our ugliness, our worth- which is none. His holiness covers our sins, gives us worth, because of who He is. God is good. And we can only try to be good. Nothing else. Indeed many things we fight for and worry about are trivial. Yet we fight because of pride. And we worry because of messed up priorities and distrust. Just. Breathe. Everything will be okay. Life can be a mess, but there's a God who doesn't clean up our mess with a broom, but a God who sinks His feet into our mess to be with us. This is the God who sent His Son to earth, into the ugly world, to mix with ugly people, to die for ugly hearts. In our mess, God is with us. We will not have to conquer the impossible because He has already won it for us. You can be ugly, just as everyone else is. God's holiness covers our ugliness and gives our life worth, purpose. That is, if we repent and allow Him to cover our ugliness. God knows us more than we know ourselves, seeing the depth of dirty secrets and sins we don't even know we have, and still He sent Jesus Christ to pay for our sins, covering our sins, covering our wickedness, covering all the bad we have done and could possible do. All this, because of God's big heart. Nobody can ever imagine the heart of God. God is good. I'm also very thankful for Janet, Wai Chan, Sissypoop, Hannahloke, Mehssaloo. My wisest, God-fearing friends. We exist in a community. Bricks shouldn't have a place in our hearts, walls shouldn't be built.