So I attempted to digest a semester's worth of readings in a week, churned out a painful painful essay, and sat for the exams like a boss even though I had no clue what I was going to have to face in the exam hall. What an experience. Warren's module is on Language & Literacy and the readings talk about things like, what is intelligence, what is literacy, what is this system we are aliens in. For the first time in my life I was thoroughly convinced that I should not put so much weight on grades because A) it is not a measure of your worth, B) it's not even a good measure of your intelligence, C) it should not be your source of validation. I got back my essay and received a B, and despite all my readings, I was devastated. So Asian, right? Whitehead used to say we were crazy for feeling sad over a B. I tried to console myself by remembering that the class got to work on the paper in pairs and they had first drafts and second drafts to improve their work. MEH. What was I expecting after skipping one whole semester of class. Anyway, I spotted the wrong question for the paper. At the exam hall I really learnt to let go (because no choice also). While others started writing profusely, I just sat back, stretched, looked around, read through the questions many many times, and started writing fifteen minutes into the paper. I knew I was screwed for the first question anyway. So I took my time and I quite enjoyed the exam lol. I felt so chill about it all, even had time to have candy and doodle little notes apologising to Warren for my handwriting. IT WUZ GUD.
Celebrated the end of (my one and only) paper with Daph and Wends. The weather was in our favour, so was food and teoheng. We had no idea where to go, we just knew we had to cab out of school right after we were done but then it started to pour and there were no cabs in sight. Usually, when the three of us are together, we are the beacon that attracts all the cabs in NTU. But narp not that day. Decided to head to Supply & Demand because PASTA *_* but we were so early that they were not even opened yet. So we had sweet corn/ cotton candy by the river with V and Rach. I love cotton candy so much you have no idea. It's like eating sugar clouds. I only ever buy them when I'm at the esplanade though. Because got river got feel lol. Because we were so hungry Wends and I over ordered as usual and ended up wasting our beautiful pasta ): Waited for the mad lightning storm to stop before singing all the sad mandarin songs at teoheng. Karaoke is love, karaoke is life. Looking forward to when we each get our own apartments and have game nights and complain about staffroom politics together. Class is going to be so different without the boys. Sad, so sad. And wizard is flying off to Taiwan for exchange today. Sad, so sad. Who am I going to call in the middle of the night to whine about my bad decisions. Who is going to kick butt for me. Who is going to warn me about toxic boys. Whoooooooo. NEGH. Love you very much stay safe and return home in one piece.
Never expected to grow so attached to NIE kids. NEVER. But with the mantous, the wizard, the lit girls, school's been pretty brilliant <3 The sub dean and profs have been nothing but patient and supportive towards me too. Who has professors that would go out and have dinner with you guys, send you home, go to BooksActually to get signed copies of books for you when you're recuperating at home, offer to send you home after the exams? I love my school. WEHWEH so sentimental.
Hoping to go for a scan after the next round and be declared FREE FROM CANCER. But if I have to go through all 6 cycles, I hope the medical schmedical will end by practicum. Really don't wanna miss practicum. I loved the school I was posted to as well. God has been so good to me. So, so, so good. I've started counting down to the end of chemo. Whenever the boys in church count down to ORD, I tell them that I ORD in July. When my baby cousin complains about having to shave his head because he enlists next week, I tell him that when he gets his hair back, my hair would probably be growing healthily again. When Chiobs tells me she'll be back in July, we plan for new adventures. 8 weeks 8 weeks 8 weeks. Finally internalising the thought that I can actually be free from cancer. That this chapter in my life will come to an end. That the second half of 2015 will be brilliant.
God has been faithful and always will be.