Safe to say surgery still fills me with fear even though it's over and my wounds are healing well. I would never want to go through that ever again, and I never want anyone to go through that as well. When I think about how smoking can lead to lung cancer I want to scream at my friends and tell them how stupid they are. It is not worth it. Sickness is not worth any sort of temporal pleasure. Maybe this is how we can never see sin. That the consequences are incredibly horrific and not worth any sort of temporal pleasure. Of course, when the cigarette is in your hand and you feel relaxed, you think you are on top of the world. You think you are indestructible. You are strong and young and have a long life to live. Wait until you realise what it does to you. It is not worth it at all. I didn't intend for this to be a PSA, but if I'm being completely honest, the whole time I was suffering in recovery I was thinking of all the kids my age who are smoking. Or the ones who are younger than I am. You can say that I don't smoke and still I got cancer, and how there are smokers who live a long long time. But if you are given a good functioning body, I beg you not to destroy it. Please.