Jiā is being able to walk in to the cousin's house no questions asked. It's having five nieces screaming at the top of their voices demanding attention. It's five nieces giving you hugs, some teary eyed from a petty quarrel, some all sticky from netball practice, some sticky from stuffing their faces with chocolate the whole afternoon (here's looking at you, MG). Jiā is fighting every day and screaming things like I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE but snuggling cosy together while watching Adventure Time. It's feeling no shame, no guilt, no such thing as being pai seh. It's watching each other grow up, and growing up together. Jiā is also having the baby cousin treat you to dinner with his first pay cheque, screaming at how stupid reality TV shows are, but still staying up to watch them together anyway. It's sharing a tub of ice cream while complaining about growing fat, communicating with eye signals because adults are around, treating any couch in the house as a bed. Jiā is also having the golden grandmother watch you grow up, from cradling you in her arms to having you hold her fragile arms as you help her move about. It's not being able to talk to her because she can't hear very well, but being able to communicate your love and care for each other so deeply through every other mode. It's sitting quietly beside her watching everyone move around, holding her hand, hearing her breathe. Jiā has been very good, very kind, very warm.
