The beautiful gloomy weather, a sweater, Coldplay. There is no chance, no chance at all. These are the perfect elements to make the mind shut down for emotions to rule over my entire system. But I want to live, really live, and not just dwell in this state of airy fairy feelings and make-believe. I don't want to create false alternatives in my head. I don't want to look back and wonder if only and I definitely do not want to look forward only to ask what if. Why is it so difficult? I'm so sick of my own mind. As I heard from today's presentation in school, "Science is better than Humanities because Humanities is all talk and no action". Of course I don't agree. But I am all talk and no action. If I screw on my head right again, and force myself to think objectively, ill feelings derive from being inward-looking and self-obsessed. So if I screw on my head proper, I'd snap out of this. But for how long. My head is already spinning and my world, well let's just say it's in transition.