Words matter. I should know that. I pick up on the negative words my doctor and mothership use, yet I've been using an excessive amount of negative words myself. I keep psyching myself out. Self-fulfilling prophecy, got hear before annot?? So no more. No more unproductive negativity. You know what happens when you begin to be "real" to the extent you become so bitter? You lose hope. Hope, the only driving force when the pit is too deep and the light is too far away. I've forgotten how to hope, how to be light and free, how to trust WITHOUT distress. I keep saying, "I've been getting the short end of the stick so I am just going to prepare for the worst." But I do that at the expense of hope, which is the kind of wings God gives you so you can soar above your circumstances with Him. Use your wings lest you forget how to fly.
So this is the hope we have in our God.
He is the creator. THE creator. MY creator. And He doesn't just create beings for the sake of playing chess. He made us in His likeness, breathing His own breath in us. There is a little bit of Him within our souls and He is with us above us in us all the time. For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities - all things have been created through Him and for Him. -- Colossians 1:16 We were created FOR Him. When you give in to negativity and bitterness and you spiral, you become self-absorbed. And when you look for your life's purpose in yourself and for yourself, you end up very disappointed and dissatisfied.
Know that the Lord Himself is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture -- Psalm 100:3 We are sheep of His pasture. It's strange that this verse paints such a gentle image of human beings and our relationship with God. Because we go through sickness, pain, anger, so many ugly physical, mental, and spiritual tribulations. Yet we are made to be the sheep of His pasture. How do we reconcile that? With our spirits. When our bodies wear and tear and work drives us insane and people make us want to kill people, we must guard our spirits. And always return to the Father to replenish, refresh, restore our spirits. That He might be merciful towards us, give us peace, understanding, gentleness, kindness, love. Love. As much as we have become people who strive to build ourselves, give a name to ourselves, craft an identity by buying material and skills and knowledge, we did not create ourselves. We could still be ambitious and work towards goals, but never forget who created us. And for what purpose.
The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life. -- Job 33:4 If God be my creator, and His breath gave me life, why do I doubt the strength of my body, or the amount of pain I am able to tolerate? I am not made of tofu because my creator did not make me that way. His breath is in me and because of that I live, and I will survive, and I will be able to fight off all diseases if He wills. A skilled toymaker would create a toy that can be gentle and loving to others, and a soldier against adversary.
My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to slip; He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand. The sun will not smite you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all evil; He will keep your life. The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore. -- Pslam 121:2-8
Reminder: God is my Creator. My skilled toymaker. Nothing will bring me down, because only He has the capacity to do so, nobody else, nothing else, absolutely nothing.