I went to find my little whales today because I missed them so and Val jie is ever loving and welcoming. I spent 2 hours waiting for them at Vivo and I didn't buy anything! Really proud of myself, this is character development, ok? I've been decluttering my room and my life and I've been training myself to be more disciplined in many aspects of my life. Including my insane urge to buy new things. Made a pact with daph and wends to only go shopping with them, and they are the best at controlling and filtering my buys. Steady. Had XLBs with the baby whales and took many many pictures of them. I'm so going to be the kind of mother who goes look at how cute my baby is LOOOOOOK. LikaMonica. I might name my kid mopiko. Because I love kiko mizuhara, and in SG, kids are gonna be all ha-ha your name sounds like mopiko so i'mma beat them to it so when they ha-ha mopiko my kid can be all DAZ RIGHT REMEMBER MY NAME. Spent the rest of the day lazing at their place and Val jie and I realised we've both been looking for a running buddy for the longest time. Most of my friends live on the other side of the island ): so I'm so stoked to have my favourite cousin with me :D Fred's not my favourite, he is my baby cousin. Different. Val jie is like imba cousin. Christine jie is way on top on my cool people list too but she lives too far away ):
Anyway. Holidays always make me reflect on the first half of the year and it makes me do more things than the beginning of the year. I guess new year's resolutions hit me much later, like everything else in life. Except cancer, that one hit me damn early. In terms of age. Not stage. But I digress. I remember in poly the holidays always brought me some sort of revelation and every semester was a different phase I'd embark on. As for this holiday, it's finally working hard again. I'm finally going back to tutoring and praise God for always providing me with a job. And I know that He only gives me what's best for me, so thank You for helping me lose all my job opportunities when I was working so hard looking for one and compromising my schedule, only to hand me the best jobs on a silver platter. I'm also finally physically fit enough to start getting my heart pumping again and I love how jelly and sore my body feels because it means I actually tried at something! I'm such a lazy human so A for effort. Also started writing songs again, because I was reminded of the parable of the talents. Thank God the song was well-received by ma beloved flens (but that's only cos they be ma flens). Aaaaaaaaaaand I'm trying to finish the mother's oxygen water. I know I've bitched about oxygen water a lot because she kept yelling at me about it. But I finally realised that the mother is trying all she can and I should do what I can to make her feel better.
With all these changes, no matter how subtle, I keep reminding myself to go slow and be consistent. So many times when we make resolutions, they come in a burst of flame and die out. Very aptly, at Vivo the kids saw a flame shooting from RWS, not a firework, just one burst of bright light that died very quickly. They got super excited every time it appeared, but soon forgot about it and didn't bother to watch the sky anymore. That's like us, or me at least, when it comes to new things, to changes. I get super excited, but then I get bored, and I turn my back.
In the car, MG was talking about The Tortoise And The Hare. I ain't even making this up, it was such an apt day, or maybe it's just teacher mode. Val jie asked her what the moral of the story was and she went I can't remember. Then Val jie raised her voice and said THINK. And I realised how lazy my MG was when it came to exercising her brain. MG IS ME. SHE IS SO MUCH LIKE ME. She finally said ohhhhhh I remember, slow and steady wins the race. And then I remember what Jeska's friend said at cell, about spiritual discipline. That it has got to be like a well that we dig, we have to dig every day, no matter how little, but it has got to be consistent. Because once we stop, dirt piles up, it's shallow again.
And I realised I don't need new habits, I need an attitude adjustment. No matter how small progress is, it is still progress. Sometimes we get excited when we start on a new devotional or QT "structure", but the excitement soon dies. Pace yourself. Whether it be a new workout, new devotional, new hobby, new job. It's supposed to be part of your life, not a vacuum. So yes, slow and steady wins the race.