Just came home from chemo. Thankfully, Cultural Studies class was canceled this week, so I'm not missing out on anything, and thank God I'm grouped with my closest buds so we met up earlier and got a head start on our project. But I missed AED because OTE made some changes ): I thought my prof would be a little more compassionate but she sounded so stern in her email and suggested I switch to a different AED class. I have a feeling I won't get to switch and I'll just have to skip class every alternate week.
The whole time I was sitting in the chair at the hospital I kept thinking, how am I going to solve this timetable issue? Either way, I would have to go to school with my stupid pump. And I wasn't going to compromise tuition to "solve" the issue, I owe my kid that much. There is really no other way around it. And then I'm thinking, am I doing the right thing? Am I supposed to take it slow? Am I overworking myself? But I don't want to do what I did last semester, I don't want to drop any more mods. I have forgiven myself for last semester, convincing myself that I needed a sem to ease in to the whole medical schmedical, but I owe a hell lot of mods because of last sem and I'm already sacrificing graduating with my batch mates.
Maybe this all seems trivial, compared to what I have to go through, what my body has to go through, but it's important nonetheless. I don't want to skip classes, I don't want to let my grades drop. I want to be strong, I want to prove to myself that I can do chemo and still excel in my studies and still have my social circle in tact. I feel like I can do it, not on my own but if God wills. And if the boss upstairs says take a chill pill, I should listen. But which am I willing to sacrifice? I owe it to my body to rest, i owe it to myself to do well in school, I owe it to my conscience to be responsible for my kid. I guess goodbye weekday social life, it's time to be a full-time student again.
Today's injection hurt less. Today's nausea is not as bad as before. Thank God for that.