My church runs like a little village. We are small and closely-knitted. We grieve together and celebrate together. Today they celebrate the fact that my tumor has shrunk. But I still grieve. A couple of months ago I would have been in high spirits upon hearing this news, but today I can't bring myself to do that. Perhaps it's because I went for chemo today, and that I feel ill, but I'm starting to wonder, have I forgotten what it means to be grateful? CYZ says it's because I've been so disappointed, and I was hoping for more. Luke says it's because I've always been stoic anyway. I don't know. Receiving all these texts from people saying, PTL, so happy for you, God answers prayers! I'm just feeling, this isn't something to get so excited over. I wanted more. Have I forgotten how to be grateful?