If you love roller coaster rides, then getting on one does not require courage. If you enjoy the adrenaline, then you don't require bravery. But if you're terrified of roller coaster rides, and you require courage, then you can exercise bravery. Being afraid and being brave are not polar opposites; you can only be brave when you are afraid. Every other circumstance would not be an act of courage. Similarly, you can only exercise faith when you doubt. It is the weapon you need to use when you find yourself in that state. So it's okay to be afraid, to doubt, to have fears and worries, because where else would you find courage? You only need the light when it is dark, water when you are thirsty, salvation when you recognise you need to be saved.
It is in fear that you find courage, in darkness that you see the light, in weakness that you find strength.
You don't have to choose to trust God when everything is smooth and looking good. It is when things are bad, and they keep getting worse, and everything in the world pushes you down, that is when you have to continually seek and trust God. You don't praise Him only in the good times, for what value is there in that? To praise Him when you don't feel like it, when you feel bad, when you feel lost, that is worship. To praise Him because of who He is and not just for what He can do for you, that is love. If you love only in the good times, and you love only when He does things for you in the ways you want it, then it is not love. Love is not like money, don't treat it like commodity.
I had a really bizarre dream last night, as I always do. I dreamt I was with a bunch of friends and strangers. Two of the strangers were HIV positive and one of my friends detested them. She took two syringes of HIV positive blood and charged towards them (I don't know the logic in this, since they were already HIV positive). I ran in and stopped my friend, pushed her aside, and hugged the strangers. Then one of them picked up the syringe and injected the blood into my veins. I was distraught and crying profusely screaming I saved you and you turn around and hurt me, why do you want to cut my life short, I want to live. And then a light went off in my head and I felt the weight of my sin on Christ's shoulders. I felt His sacrifice. I thought about how He cut His life short to save us, and He did so knowing and believing wholeheartedly that His treasure and His place was in heaven with the Father. He was in the flesh and probably had fleshly desires too. What if He also wanted to build a family on earth? But His focus was always on the Lord and the Lord's purpose. And He submitted to that will.
Even when I refuse to listen, and I refuse to be still, God still speaks volumes.