I haven't had a single night of uninterrupted sleep since I got here. My doctor gave me painkillers and sleeping pills but they don't work at all. Well, at least the pain is a lot less excruciating than before. But I can't go to sleep, and if I do, I wake within a couple of hours. My stomach is as bloated as ever, I wonder why the doctors in SG didn't deal with it properly when I went to see them. Instead, they just gave me painkillers. There's a mass on the left where my surgery took place. The doctors here say it's just an inflammation of the small intestine. But because of its location, they can't see what it is through a colonoscopy, they've got to operate on it. The oncologist here also says that it will soon block my gut and my intestines will fail to function. Colitis, he calls it. Not only does my tummy swell up it makes it even harder to sleep. I've been taking prescribed medicine for a week now and he'll check on me in two more. I hope to go home by then. When he told me it was an inflammation all I could think of was, cancer patients usually don't die from cancer, they die from infections and the body's inability to treat itself.
Am I scared? No. God is the giver and taker of life. If He wants me on earth no sickness can take that away. The same God who parted the sea, gave children to the barren, made the blind see, is the same God in my life today. Nothing is impossible for God. I listen not to doctors or stats but to the only author and creator of life.
Still, it'd be swell (hur see what I did there) if the pain would go away. I long for a good night's rest.
Within the small naps I steal from time to time (I can't really call two hours sleep) I dream about home and the people there. I dreamt of everyone relevant in my life right now and last night I dreamt of ahma. I dreamt I was back home and the first thing I wanted to do was to go and see her because I haven't seen her in three weeks now. I hope she's doing okay. Miss her, love her.