We have nerves we never want to expose. We hide them deep, protected by the cage of our bones, the cushion of our flesh and blood. They are several different nerves. The ones you never touch because they hurt too much, the ones that bring you tears because they are too true, and the ones you don't even know about until they're touched. When the nerves are touched, even if by a feather in the passing wind, it sends waves. Your thin line of memories and emotions vibrate all through your body and you either feel your heart hardening, or your muscles relax and you cry. My nerves have been touched one too many times since December. All of them. The ones I specially bury, the ones I try to ignore, the ones I never knew existed. One of the most important nerves that served its purpose in waking my mind is this: God loves you. You hear it so much but when you really listen, God. Loves. You. "God" is the God who is mighty and holy and righteous, "you" is the filth that is sinful through and through, and "love" is the concept we try to make sense of but never come close. And when someone tells me that, when they put their hands over my shoulder and try to speak sense into me, I think, "how is it possible"? And then today pastor Neville reminded us about David. David was a sinner, too. Adulterer, murderer, and yet? Psalm 86:5, "You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you." David remembered and focused on the Lord and His mercy. He was well-aware of his sins, but he did not focus on his crimes or his guilt. He did not focus on himself. Instead, he glorified God and praised Him and returned to Him. Abounding in love to all who call on You. No guilt, no shame. God knew the sins we would commit and still He sent Jesus to die for us. He knows the sin we committed yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He knows the mistakes we will make and the times our hearts will harden. He exists outside of a timeline and so He knows. Still, He chose to die. If we think our sins and our bitter hearts are too much for God to handle, we need to remember that His love changed the heart of Saul. Saul who once persecuted Christians and was changed by God, and spent the rest of his life as Paul the good servant. His love is something we can never fathom, so don't put God in a box with all our other ideas of what things are.